It is unreal how my weight struggles have determined my happiness over the years.
I can tell you that I am happy today. I am feeling very free. I am feeling strong. I am feeling motivated. I feel like I have direction and am going somewhere. Like I am no longer treading water.
But, why is that? I'm not skinny or fit. I am work in progress. It must be the combination of making progress and those fabulous endorphins that come with a good sweat sesh!
2014 was an amazing year! The most beautiful crazy stressful fulfilling thing happened to me... I became a Mom. To not one but TWO perfect babies.
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| Ethan & Ellison 2 Weeks Old |
But, I think something that is not discussed enough is how this major life event changes things. And not just the having to be responsible for another human life part but it changes a woman. It changes her heart. It changes her mind. It changes her body. It's like that great summer you had when you were a teen, all you want is to go back to that summer, but you can't because it is over and everyone has moved on. That is how I have felt the past year. I wanted nothing more than to strap on my running shoes and bust out 5 miles or slip on my size 8 pants (hell, even size 10 or 12 would've been nice) but I couldn't. It wasn't the same. I couldn't run 5 miles.... I couldn't even run ONE mile and those 8/10/12 pants were not going over my justhadtwins hips.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE MY KIDS. But, I really struggled to balance being a mother, working full-time, and making time for me. And I think that is something a LOT of women struggle with. After many months (10 to be exact), I finally found a schedule that works for everyone. I am able to spend time with my babies, work my full time job, and take an hour to myself to exercise each day.
I guess my point is, it is hard to find your happy. I think it is important to not put the focus on your size or shape (let's face it, I will never be the same shape again after carrying twins) but to focus on taking time for yourself and finding a way to do that without guilt.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE MY KIDS. But, I really struggled to balance being a mother, working full-time, and making time for me. And I think that is something a LOT of women struggle with. After many months (10 to be exact), I finally found a schedule that works for everyone. I am able to spend time with my babies, work my full time job, and take an hour to myself to exercise each day.
I guess my point is, it is hard to find your happy. I think it is important to not put the focus on your size or shape (let's face it, I will never be the same shape again after carrying twins) but to focus on taking time for yourself and finding a way to do that without guilt.
Happy wife = Happy life, right?
-M
